Saturday, March 14, 2009
I had a series of phone calls recently that really brought into sharp focus one of the things that a professional horary astrologer needs to keep in mind, which is that when querents ask a horary question they often do not want an accurate prediction, they want a positive answer! This goes beyond the understandable desire to have things go your way as a considerable number of clients appear to have not even considered the possibility of a negative answer and are noticeably shocked and chagrined to get one.
The question the caller asked was one that I am not surprisingly getting more and more of these days, "When exactly will I get a job?" Not "Will I get a job?" with the possibility of a negative answer, but "I am 100% I will get one, but when is it going to be?" Not a good start! I spent way too much time and several separate phone calls explaining how to ask a horary. Then more phone calls as they fumbled through the Paypal transaction, then finally when I took the question, they flipped out because I couldn't give them an answer on the spot. No, I couldn't since I had 12 other clients ahead of them already waiting for their readings. The "client" then repeatedly hassled me to jump the queue and when they couldn't freaked worse. As quick as possible I got rid of them!
This is a good example of the real motivations that clients have for asking a horary. First of all, this client was looking for reassurance. This is certainly characteristic of the "When will I get a job?" question, but also of the relationship question. Clients in these two categories are often looking for you to tell them that everything is going to be ok and that everything was going to go their way. I have had this type of client get very upset when they got a negative answer. "I got ripped off, this is not what I paid for!"
The insistence on getting an immediate answer is also symptomatic of the true motivation of the client. If they were serious about job hunting or using a horary to find or make a job decision then a reasonable wait wouldn't matter, but flipping out when they couldn't get instant gratification is telling.
Another very typical client motivation is a desire to simply have someone to talk you about their life and their problems. This type of client is easy to discern because they send 15 paragraph e-mails and talk endlessly on the phone. With relationships they tend to be obsessive, both with a particular person and the situation, going over the same ground again and again.
Clearly these clients are living in something of a fantasy world, but in actuality we are all floating around in various fantasies, playing out our own psychodramas. I guess my fantasy is that all clients are going to want clear, precise predictions and know what to do with them! Setting clear boundaries and having set policies is a good start, but there are plenty of clients that are going to ignore anything that doesn't fit into their current fantasy.
So, I think it is a bit of trap and one I have certainly fallen into, to start thinking, "oh those clients are bad" Yes, they may be poorly oriented to reality when they ask a question and subconsciously are expecting the answer to be 100% "YES", but having had this happen a few times I am just setting myself up and then unreasonably getting upset if I am not prepared and calm when it does happen.
Instead what I am striving towards is a state where I am not surprised by what any client does and I remain calm, never crossing my limits and boundaries and not getting my emotional buttons punched just because theirs are.
Realizing that my fantasy of what I want to do and be as an astrologer, may or may not fit the client's fantasy is an important first step!